Celebrating Life

The Art of Letting Go…

By the time you read this, we’ll be prepping to take our sweet Filbie to the vet one last time.

In so many ways 2020 has been full of personal growth and letting go has been the hardest lesson of all.  

We know we are not alone in our grief today because thousands of people all over the world are grieving their loved ones too.

It’s been amazing to watch Filbie rally through seizure episodes, vet visits, multiple rounds of testing, medications, and countless sleepless nights these past few years.

I don’t know if I would have had the strength.

We’ve known he was a fighter from the beginning though.

Filbie was just two hours away from being taken to the humane society when S rescued him. One of two pups leftover from a litter no one wanted.

And while I wouldn’t call him aggressive, he had a million and one quirks that taught us lessons in tolerance almost instantly.

He loved in a quiet way and reminded us countless times that a whisper has more power than a scream.  

I never understood how dogs related to one another until I watched Filbie with my beloved Talladega and our treasured Jelly Bean.  They spoke a language to each other, I’m convinced, we weren’t meant to understand.

While their friendship was hard won and unlikely, he was a faithful companion that easily bridged the gap between the canine world and the human one.

We will miss him dearly.

Based on the simple math of their ages, we knew it was highly probable we’d lose all three of our dogs in as many years.

I’ve thought about this moment many times and have even tried to mentally prepare myself for the deafening silence that will soon fill our home.  

But I’ve learned firsthand letting go is not something that comes easily.  It takes small steps and moments of courage almost daily until you know it’s time.

While it will be difficult to say goodbye, we rest in the fact he will no longer be in pain.

And that our sweet Tally and Jelly will be waiting for him at the base of the rainbow bridge, ready to welcome him home.

With love,

CoCo

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49 Comments

  1. Kimberly O'Donoghue says:

    My eyes are wet my heart is sad I know this pain all so well after losing our Princess it took two years before we were ready for another dog bc the thought of going through that pain was more than I could bear. We were gifted a little French Bull dog from a friend who could not keep two we love her so much another fur friend will find you when your hearts are ready God bless

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Kimberly, I really appreciate it. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Princess too. I know you know firsthand that kind of love and loss. It definitely gives me comfort to know you’ve found love again and that you’ve been able to open your heart to another. I hope we’ll feel the same way too when the time is right. Sending you hugs and thank you for all your support, CoCo

  2. Your dog gives you his heart fully. Losing that is tough. Please find comfort knowing you gave him a great life. Hugs. Gail

    1. Such a sweet and thoughtful thing to say, Gail, we appreciate that so much and will hold it in our hearts as we continue to heal. Hugs, CoCo

  3. I am so sorry to hear of Filbie’s crossing. We went through similar passing of Harry in August. No matter how much you care for them, try to change the outcome you know when the time comes. Our dog looked very much like Filbie I hope they RIP.

  4. Linda @ Itsy Bits And Pieces says:

    Oh CoCo, I’m so sorry. It is so heartbreaking. Sending love and hugs your way…So hard. xo

    1. Thank you so much, Linda. It’s been a rough few days so we really appreciate all your love and support. Big hugs, CoCo

  5. Cookie Sheldon says:

    Oh my, this post hit home this week. We just had to do the same with our beloved Honey Girl this week.We had to say goodbye and send her to the rainbow bridge. I miss her dearly..I still talk to her as If she’s right here. Since we have no children, She was my sweet child. We had promised her the best summer ever and I tried my best to create this..we were nearly inseparable. It is one of the worst decisions we have to make. And I don’t know why God makes us do this. However, I know God (dog reversed) is taking great care of her now. She is in A better place and in no pain. It’s just our pain now that we have to deal with. God bless and know this makes you a stronger and more compassionate person. Hugs.

  6. Patty Foster says:

    As I sit here with tears streaming down my face for you and S, I scarily have words. We all grieve with you my dear friends. Find comfort in the fact that you two made Filbie’s life so much better and loved him well. The fact that he’s 16 years old is an accomplishment in itself. Know that you two are being thought of today and prayed for.

    1. I can’t even tell you how much we appreciate you, Patty. It’s been such a rough few days. We know each day will get better and that Filbie was loved beyond measure. He’ll always have such a special place in our hearts. Thank you for all your kind words and for lifting us up in prayer as we continue to heal, CoCo

  7. Sweet sweet photos! It is THE hardest thing my husband and I have ever done. Dogs are such a treasure and blessing.

    1. Thank you so much, Barbara. You are right, it’s definitely such a hard experience to have to go through and it sounds like you understand the heartbreak firsthand. They filled our home with so much love and care and we will miss them dearly. Big hugs, CoCo

  8. Oh my goodness, my sweet friend. I can barely type this comment as my tears fall uncontrollably after reading this heart-wrenching post. I am SO sorry for your loss, CoCo! Losing not one but three fur babies so closely is beyond anything I could ever imagine. It is wonderful to know Filbie will me met by his dear friends and they will once again be able to play like puppies once again! Sending big hugs and many prayers that you give yourself grace and care through this difficult time.

    1. Thank you for all your sweet and thoughtful words, Christine, it’s definitely been a difficult transition without them. The house is so quiet, it doesn’t even feel the same. I’ve imagined them playing together and snuggling with each other again so many times. They were like the 3 musketeers and when I’m at my teariest it brings me comfort to think of them all together again. Sending you hugs and thank yous for your prayers, CoCo

  9. Coco there are no words. I’m so sorry for your loss. Having our two babies who have seen me through tough times with my MS they’re also like therapy dogs.

    We love them so completely having no human children.

    Dogs capture our souls simply by just wanting love. I dread the day barring no issues Dachshund live 15, 16 years.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Hugs,

    Cindy

    1. Thank you, Cindy. I didn’t have the chance to have kids either so they’ve left such a huge hole in my heart and our house is so quiet now. I know the days will get easier but we miss them dearly. Hold onto your sweet babies and love them every chance you get. Give them some kisses for me. Big hugs, CoCo

  10. Vee Muller says:

    It’s so hard to say goodbye to a family member. May your good memories comfort you in time.

    1. Thank you, Vee! They all came into our lives when we needed them most and for that reason alone we will treasure them always. Sending you hugs and thank yous for all your kind words and sweet support throughout the years, CoCo

  11. I share your loss, they are irreplaceable. They knew they were loved, and we must learn to love again no matter how hard. I’ve lost Abby, Gypsy, Bobo, Jackson, and Blu in the past few years and each was as devastating as could be. I call them my spirit dogs now. Each was cremated and rests on a shelf by my bed. I’m ready now for another that hopefully will come my way.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Linda. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. It’s definitely such a tough experience to have to go through no matter how many times you’ve gone through it before. I love that you call them your spirit dogs and have still them all close. I know they were loved and treasured. Hugs, CoCo

  12. My heart breaks for you. ❤️❤️❤️

    1. We really appreciate it, Peggy, thank you so much. Hugs, CoCo

  13. CoCo, I’m so sorry. It’s never easy no matter how much you’ve tried to prepare yourself. Sending love and hugs…

    1. Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, Stacey, they help so much and are definitely appreciated. Sending love and hugs right back to you, CoCo

    1. Thank you so much, Eileen, we really appreciate it. Hugs, CoCo

  14. My heart is just aching for you! It took me a little while to comment because while I had tears from the beginning, the picture of him looking at the door had the tears pouring out. I’m so, so sorry you have to go through this. Many prayers and hugs for you!

    1. Catching Filbie at the front door waiting for it to open was one of my favorite things, Michelle, and I’m so thankful I was able to capture it. Coming home won’t ever feel the same. Thank so much for your prayers and hugs. We appreciate them so much, CoCo

  15. My Thoughts are with you all. I know and feel your Sadness. Doing the right thing can be so terribly hard . God Bless Filbie. xxx

    1. We appreciate your thoughtful words so much, Merlyn, thank you. Hugs, CoCo

  16. Mary-Louise says:

    So sorry for the journey you’re dealing with. I personally can relate and felt your tears as you must have shed while writing these beautiful memories. ?❤️ ?

    1. Thank you for your kindness, Mary-Louise, we appreciate it more than you know. We’re sending you hugs for your loss and journey as well, CoCo

  17. Oh, CoCo, my tears started as soon as I read the hesding. I know this heart break all too well. Such sweet babies you had. I know how it feels to come home to that heart wrenching silence. Please know you & S are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs.

    1. I know you know how painful this is, Patty, not just from your own experience but also because you’ve been with us since our sweet Tally passed away. When she died we still had Jelly and Filbie which helped ease our pain a bit. And when Jelly died we still had Filbie. But now that Filbie has passed, the silence has been difficult to endure. Thankfully, we know each day will get a little better and our love for them will always be one of our greatest joys. Sending you lots of hugs and love and thank yous for your prayers, CoCo

  18. catherine says:

    May your beautiful boy RIP. Till you all meet again at Rainbow Bridge x

    1. Thank you for all your sweet care and concern, Catherine, we really appreciate it. Big hugs, CoCo

  19. Just beautiful. Cherish your memories of your sweet Filbie. I am so very sorry.

    1. Thank you so much, Sue, we really appreciate it. Sending you hugs, CoCo

  20. Dear Coco and family, I also went through this last year with my precious Emily Rose my 12.6 yr old female Shih Tzu last November. She ot very ill fast with Kidney failure. She had seizures and we did our heroic IV drips for 4 seperate weeks. She was at the point where she chose to stop eating. I/we could not bear her suffering any more. My last trip to the vet was a sacrifice of love so she would no longer labor. Prayers for your family.

    P.S we got a pound mix small female to keep our male 3yr old Shih Tzu company. In hind site I wish we had waited a little longer to decide to replace her. Our pound girl is frisky and a hyper .poodle terrier cross. The Shih Tzu is Mr. lazy and mellow. She drives him .nuts. Oh well it has been 11 mos. and we should have gotten another Shih Tzu for his temperament but she keeps us busy.

    1. Jenny, thank you so much for sharing your love for Emily Rose and her journey. She sounds like such a sweetie pie and a warrior too. Filbie had also stopped eating and couldn’t stand up for very long either so we knew it was time. Such a painful decision but we, like you, made it out of love so he wouldn’t suffer anymore. Thank you for your prayers. We appreciate them so much, CoCo

  21. I literally cried while reading this, CoCo. I am so sorry. We have been through the same thing and I know how awful it can be. Your attitude is wonderful and I know you’ll get through this. We are all stronger than you think. Hang in there. Hugs, Kathleen

    1. I really appreciate it, Kathleen, thank you. It’s been such a hard few days but I know every day will get a little better. I never got the chance to have kids so those three little sweet petes were my world. I’m going to miss the love they brought to our home so much. Sending you hugs and sorry for your loss as well, CoCo

  22. I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear pup. Our dogs fill our hearts with joy and bring smiles to our faces. Their love is unconditional and that is why we miss them so much when they cross the rainbow bridge. Sending hugs. ❤️❤️

    1. Such a caring thing to say, Loretta. I feel the same way and greatly appreciate your kindness and support. We miss them so much! Big hugs, CoCo

  23. I’m so sorry. I know exactly what you are going through and will be praying for y’all. It’s hard not hearing the sounds they make; whether barking or tick tick ticking of their toenails on the floor. I wish I had some comforting words. Big hugs sweet friend.

    1. Thank you, Cindy. We knew it was coming and thought we had about 2-3 weeks but after a week of him struggling we knew it was time to let him go. It’s hard to describe just how quiet our house is now without any dogs now. It just doesn’t feel the same. Sending you hugs and thank you for your kind words, CoCo

  24. Oh CoCo… I am soooo very sorry! We sure miss our sweet pups and kitties, don’t we?… I know this was a hard post to write for you; I’ve already made Yoda’s for when it is his time. I know this is so fresh and that pain, it’s almost if not worse than losing a human friend because our pups love so unconditionally.

    I hope when the timing is right, another furry friend will find his way home for you…
    Sending you lots of love and hugs, dear friend,
    Barb <3

    1. Thank you so much, Barb, I really appreciate it. We miss Filbie dearly and hope he has found his way to our beloved JRTs Tally and Jelly. Our home does not feel the same without them in it. Sending you and Yoda lots of love and hugs, CoCo

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