From the Front Porch
Happy Friday from the front porch sweet friends. We’re delighted to have you here and appreciate you making us a part of your day!
Recently, I found myself in a really uncomfortable situation.
A situation that stung a lot more than I care to admit.
In the big scheme of things, it’s not a big deal.
Honestly, this scenario has played out so many times over the years in one form or another you’d think by now I’d have found a way to let it go.
Especially, since this situation will likely happen again.
My reaction was so disproportionate to what I thought it should be given the situation though, it completely caught me off guard.
And I knew immediately something about it had triggered me in a way I had not expected.
“I don’t know why this is bothering me so much,” I lamented to my bestie S. “Why can’t I just get over this already! I swear, this situation repeatedly feels like a cross to bear. Had he just given us a heads up, I don’t think I would have felt so blindsided or left out.”
“He doesn’t have to tell you anything,” S said.
And almost instantly I felt an intense volcano of emotion about to erupt.
So, I did what I always do when that happens.
I started pleading my case and rationalizing my feelings hoping to find a way to make the sting go away.
When I finished, S said, “What is this really about? It’s not like you haven’t dealt with this situation before. You can’t assume people are like you in that they’ll give you a heads up, or an invitation, or even share the same kind of information and helpful tips you share. You want everyone to feel included because you know what it feels like to be left out. You want everyone to succeed because you know what it feels like to fail. You try to make yourself as clear as possible because you know what it’s like to wonder where you stand. You want everyone to have a fair shake because you know what it’s like to feel left behind. But not everyone is like you, and you can’t expect them to be. He doesn’t have to tell you anything and just like him, you get to choose what information you share, who you invite, or give a heads up. More importantly, you get to choose how you react and move forward. It’s that simple.”
I freely admit, anytime I feel the sting of rejection I want someone who’s willing to jump in the muck and mire with me heart salve in one hand and chocolate cake in the other.
S is not that friend though and I’m a much better person for it.
S is the friend at the top of the hill saying, “You’re too good to be in this ditch. Let me help you out of there.”
Over the years, I’ve gotten really good at creating soundtracks to help me move forward anytime I feel stuck or stung.
If I feel overwhelmed, I’ll say, “Clarity comes from action.”
When I feel like dropping my stuff on the dining room table the minute I walk through the front door, I’ll say, “Don’t put it down, put it away.”
If I don’t feel like working out, I’ll say, “Just give it 20 minutes.”
When I feel like procrastinating or I’ve lost motivation I’ll say, “Your future self will thank you for this.”
When I pay my bills or see a dime on the street or have an unexpected income opportunity I say, “There’s more where that came from.”
And thanks to S, I’m now adding, “He doesn’t have to, or she doesn’t have to, or they don’t have to, or I don’t have to,” as a simple reminder it’s ultimately up to each of us to decide what information we share, who we invite, choose to give a heads up, and how we communicate, react, and move forward.
After all, it’s truly a gift when someone is willing to invest in you, or invites you to make special memories with them, or allows you to share in the highlights and lowlights that matter most to them.
While we’re never guaranteed an easy road, we can create a life that matters.
One in which we continue to grow and fully know, deep down, we are enough.
Cheering you on as you discover and appreciate your worth!
A Few of Our Favorite Things from Around the Web…
I could spend hours combing through this photographer’s portfolio searching for inspiration. It’s gorgeous!
Arcadian Revival has a really beautiful portfolio too.
Every space in this home tour has a well-appointed kind of elegance. Mindy Gayer is so talented!
There are so many pretty spaces in this Topiary Lane home tour from Amy Studebaker Design – don’t miss the breakfast area.
Remarkable French Gardens via Gardens Illustrated
Just bookmarked this champagne bucket flower arrangement from Flower Magazine.
A Guide to the Iconic Paris Flea Market via Goop
Hidden Gem Hotels in Paris via Forbes
This restaurant is so pretty. I love how they created a little privacy for the outside dining area with planters. I would love to do something similar on our back patio area.
The #1 Trick to Enjoying Family Travel I love CoJ’s post and her comment section is pure gold!
Simple Ways to Grow Your Savings via The Everygirl
22 Easy Summer Dinners You Can Make in Less Than 30 Minutes
Words to Live By…
Another soundtrack to keep in your back pocket…
And a little nugget from my Mom…
On My Nightstand…
(Amazon affiliate links have been provided for your convenience. As an Amazon and Impact Media Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Any sales made through such links will support us with a small commission at no extra cost to you. You can read our full disclosure policy here)
We spent so much of June reevaluating what was working well in our family and what didn’t work well at all.
Now that we’re in July, our focus has been taking action on things we’ve been putting off for far too long and I can’t tell you how good it feels to TCB!
Diving into self-sabotage and the reasons we do it has been so insightful. It’s not only helpful for myself but it also allows me to help those around me that struggle with it too.
While Stop Self Sabotage: Six Steps to Unlock Your True Motivation, Harness Your Willpower and Get Out of Your Own Way can feel a little clinical at times, it’s definitely worth reading.
Also, for those of you who don’t mind a little woo-woo I read Self Sabotage No More in a couple of days. It does give some background on the reasons we self-sabotage, but it also offers practice tips and tricks to help you get started immediately on breaking the cycle of self-sabotage immediately.
As always, you can find a complete list of the self-discovery books we’ve read here, 64 of the best books to read this summer here, and a list of our favorite podcasts here.
Menu Ideas…
Home Décor and Neutral Summer Fashion Finds We Spotted Online at Amazon This Week…
(Amazon affiliate links have been provided for your convenience. As an Amazon and Impact Media Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Any sales made through such links will support us with a small commission at no extra cost to you. You can read our full disclosure policy here)
Plates * Purse * Anti-Frizz Spray * Chairs
Pullover Tee * Ice Bucket * Belt * Lace Dress
Tissue Box Cover * Dress * Platter * Mules
Overnight Bag * Coasters * Skirt * Salad Tongs
If You’ve Missed Anything from the Blog Recently or the Archives, Here’s a Peek At What We’ve Been Up To…
Decorating with Salvaged Finds (A Lifestyle of Love Blog Hop Post)
Cottage-Inspired Summer Porch Tour
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who shopped using our links for this sale. It means the world and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!
July Bucket List…
- Celebrate Independence Day
- Finish Bedrooms at Loblolly
- Prepare the Porch for Summer
- Take Piper to the Beach
- Attend a Summer Yard Sale
- Christmas in July Activities
- Begin Summer Routines
- Begin Quarter 3 Challenge
- Read the Book of the Month
- Start Quarter 3 Devotional
- Keep Sundays Sacred
July Simplified and Organize Home Challenge…
Focus of the Month: Kids Rooms or Guest Rooms & Bathrooms
- 07/02 – Kids Room or Guest Room
- 07/09 – Kids Room or Guest Room Closet & Drawers
- 07/16 – Kids Room or Guest Room Bathroom & Cabinets
- 07/23 – Back to School Supplies/ Toys & Games
- 07/30 – Clean Out/Organize Your Car
TCG Housekeeping Notes, Dates to Remember, and Upcoming Posts…
- 07/14 – Bastille Day
- 07/16 – National Ice Cream Day
- 07/31 – National Mutt Day
As always, we appreciate you more than you could ever know, and we hope your weekend is peace-filled and relaxing. We can’t wait to share even more with you next week!
Many blessings,
CoCo
Beautiful lesson! I think we would all be better off if we had a friend like that! Clarity with honesty! Have a great weekend!
No wonder S. is your bestie! We all need people to tell us the truth and to pull us up when we are down. I read the account of her accident–it sounds incredibly painful and traumatic! I hope she is doing great now and having no lasting effects from it.
The links are a treasure trove, as usual. I especially love those first three links to photographers. Tons of inspiration there. And that breakfast room is super dreamy!
I’m thinking of getting the Wow Spray because I struggle with frizz during the summer, and I’m seeing that spray everywhere right now,
And finally, the Amazon link section is gorgeous. It is always so well put together with color and style. I’ve got my eye on those mules for sure. But which ones? 🙂
Have a wonderful weekend, and thank you for all the time you spend on From the Front Porch every week. It’s so much fun to get in my inbox.
Amazing words today, CoCo!! You could write a whole book with all the knowledge that you share here. Blessings to you, my friend!
You put so much heart and soul into your posts and I enjoy every single one- thank you!
I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful words, Barbara, thank you so much! Hope your week is filled with unexpected gifts, CoCo
My heart hurts for you because I can relate to how you felt, but you are so lucky to have such a fabulous bestie who has your best interests in mind! Thanks for sharing your heart and encouraging words with us! Hugs to you!